How To Dirty Talk: 100+ Examples, Do’s & Don’ts

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The comfort level you feel has everything to do with how well the dirty talk goes. If you don’t know how to initiate dirty talk, start by teasing or flirting with your partner while hanging out together. Ask your partner if they can remember the first time both of you made out. That’s a good way to talk dirty while reminiscing at the same time. Start flirting via naughty text messages to build confidence. Sexting lets you take the time to figure out your preferred style of sexual talk without the pressure of performing it live.

Love Languages

Humans are verbal creatures—in relationships, we use our words to express our deepest emotions, desires, needs, and fantasies. It just doesn’t have the same effect—and that’s because hearing certain words or phrases can be a major turn-on. But while porn stars may have no qualms about uttering filthy phrases during sex, many of us regular folk tend to blush at the mere thought of saying such words out loud. Even the phrase “dirty talk” sounds shameful or bad. If you’re unsure, listen to Quinn’s audio erotica for insight into how others talk dirty.

Dirty talk is for you too, what gets you hot?

Eye them now, copy and paste, repeat, or read them your boo later. This category of dirty talk involves referencing past sexcapades as a way to build anticipation and arousal. To do so, you could say something like, “Remember when you bent me over the couch the other week? I was dripping wet.” Dr. Tara particularly recommends this method as a means of sexting, too. Reading erotica or listening to audio porn will expand your dirty-talk repertoire. While it might seem like something straight out of erotic literature or a steamy movie scene, it’s useful for elevating communication in the bedroom.

Spread your dirty talk throughout the day

If you feel uncomfortable using explicit language while talking dirty to your man or if you don’t like the idea of sending him dirty text messages, don’t feel that you have to! You can also use a bunch of other freaky and dirty talking phrases that make for more sensual, sexy love making. Whispering in his ear, “Don’t stop, I love it” or “You feel incredible” is going to work much differently, but it’s still going to have a great outcome. You can learn more dirty talking phrases to use for more intense sex here. When talking dirty, you often say things that you’ve probably never said and things you’ll never say again in public. It’s very intimate, so that’s why dirty talking (both online and in real life) is a way of building intimacy and trust.

• Sean is the editor of Bad Girls Bible and responsible for recruiting our team of sex and relationship experts.
• Hiding you or your partner’s face behind a mask may help relieve shyness, or add an air of erotic mystery while dictating exactly what you want each other to do.
• Talking dirty is a thrilling way to enhance your sexual connection with your partner.

Eros says incorporating dirty talk into phone sex is one way to get more comfortable with it. Hop on the phone while you’re masturbating, and describe what’s happening to your partner through voice or text messages; go step by step, and outline exactly what you’re doing, how it feels, and how it looks. “You’ll soon start to realize what kinds of words, phrases, or scenarios turn you on the most,” says Eros. Remember, these are just guidelines to tailor to your and your partner’s likes, kinks, and fetishes. Learning how to talk dirty to a woman or someone with a vagina is no different than learning how to talk dirty to a man or someone with a penis, so see what feels most natural and exciting and go from there. Of course, the Dirty Talking Guide is just the start.

The first step of good video sex, according to Harris, is setting the scene. An “mmm,” “oh baby,” or similar moan-inspired sound will encourage your partner to continue what they’re saying or doing. They’ll be more likely to help you feel that same feeling.

You’re not an actor (unless you are), so don’t think of it as a performance. Think of it as a way to share your (horny) feelings with your partner. Jumping right in with the dirtiest text will just have the opposite effect, so, try using compliments, suggestive texts, or flirty questions. It could turn a boring movie night into a steamy night in the bedroom with only a few words. In order to avoid a bit of embarrassment if you’re new to this, just whisper these things in your partner’s ear.

Knowing you can stop at any time—no questions asked—makes trying new things less scary. The personas you create need not be a reflection of who you really are or even what you normally like. Just like sex toys, they can be tried on and discarded depending on mood, without ever having to commit to any of them. “You don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself to just be one thing,” Manta says.